Firsts

I have spent a lot of time thinking the last few days.  I'm not sure what has gotten into me lately, but I have been extra melancholy compared to normal.  It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it leads to a lot of thinking.  I almost failed a class at school, but luckily the professor gave me an incomplete, which was very generous of her.  So now I have a few more weeks to finish up my work and turn it in.  But, that's not what this post is about.

Tomorrow is LegalQuad's and my 1 year talkivessary.  This is huge to me.  Given my past, I was really afraid that I would never find someone that I loved and who loved me back.  This has truly been an amazing year.  It is crazy that it has been a year since he first sent me an email.  The email read

So how is life in (blank)? My brother is going to school there , and I am going to school in (blank).zI am not vent dependent, but still a high-level quad.maybe we could meet up sometime

It was amazing how someone I was so interested in could live so close to me.  We are only about 2 1/2 hours apart from each other right now.  On August 9th he gave me his phone number, and on August 10th we stopped talking through the messages on the website where we met.  One August 16th we stopped just texting and began to Skype with each other.  You see, there are a lot of firsts coming up.  Tomorrow is the first of many big firsts with out talkiverssary, and on September 5th it will be our 1 year anniversary.  On September 3rd, before we met for the first time in person, we talked on Skype for over 4 hours.  We had done a lot of phone talking, but this was such a long time.  We chatted, I "met" his aide for the night, an we just talked and enjoyed each other's company.  I am not going to get into our first "date" AKA our first time meeting.  That will be a post for our anniversary.  

I just went back and re-read our first few talks.  And I laughed at them.  Because he was new to the Dev game, and I was too, and neither of us knew what to say or how to act.  We have learned so much from each other over the last year.  We have learned to relax a bit as well.  I was reading the Blog New Dawn, New Day, New Life the last few days, looking back on Kristen's blogs.  While we are not 100 % in the same boat, there is so much overlap also.  I think about all the firsts that we still have to go with each other, and I am thrilled to think about them.  Truthfully, they give me something to look forward to.  They give me the drive to graduate and find a teaching job so that I am no longer tied down to where I live now.  I have read so many stories about quads who have been fathers post injury, and I look forward to that first time.  I never posted a blog post about the first time we had sex.  But that was my first time ever, and it was quite the adventure.  But it just adds into the experience of firsts.  

My first time staying the night at LQ's apartment led to a complete breakdown, because I wasn't mentally prepared to witness and be part of his care.  But I knew that I wanted to be.  It was definitely an area that I struggled in for the next couple of visits.  However, it did get better, and now I am just used to it.  When his aide gets there, I go to the couch and sleep, and once he is in the bathroom I can go back to bed and sleep in bed until he is done.  It is just routine now, and doesn't really bother me much.  He likes to joke with me about how I can just go from one place to another.  I was really worried though about handling the aides, especially after the meltdown that I had.  But together we made it through that.  

I love when I am able to look back on our firsts, and see how far we have come from those firsts.  And I love to think about what our new firsts will be like.  I can't want to see where life takes us from here, but stay tuned and I am sure you will find out!