The Distance

So, as the Christmas season draws to a close, and the year is quickly following, I have spent a lot of time reflecting.  The title of this post has a two-fold meaning.  

This year has been a crazy learning experience for me.  I went back to school in January for my Master's Degree, which took a serious toll on my emotional state.  At that time, I was working full time, working part time, and going to school part time.  I was miserable and seriously crashing from the stress of it all.  It took me nearly failing out of my Masters program to realize that I'm not superwoman, and I needed to cut back on my stressors.  So, in April I said goodbye to the Arena and my part time job.  

In late May I learned of the term Devotee, and an explanation of the feelings I have had for so many years.  June 1 I joined an online community that I can only describe as completely eye opening for me.  It gave me a place of belonging finally.  And they took me in, and I feel I have really grown as an individual.  There is an offshoot of the site, which is more of an adult site, and that is where I met my amazing LegalQuad.  And my life has not been the same since July 23.  After a little over a month, we met in person on September 5, and now I could not imagine my life without him.  

As I reflect on this, it brings up the distance that I have come over time.  There is currently a person who works at my university that is on paid administrative leave because of the way that she treats the students.  I had problems with her while I was there, and I signed a petition to have her removed.  It is no secret to most that I have had mental health problems in the past.  I still do, but the symptoms are much better than what they were.  She tried to throw me out of school because of these problems.  I look at my life then, and the mess that it was.  I was barely getting by, just barely holding the pieces of my life together.  Then I look at today.  I have a job, I am in school, and I have a wonderful boyfriend.  I have come such a long way from where I was.  The distance amazes me.  

Then there is the distance between my boyfriend and I.  When Legalquad is at school, we are about 150 miles apart.  That may not seem like a lot, but it is when you don't drive.  it's torture.  Well, right now, he's home, which is about 450 miles from me.  And I am struggling with this distance.  I am missing him constantly.  Because I just want to be with him.  Learning to manage a long distance relationship is one of the most difficult things that I've had to do.  But I wouldn't change the person that I'm with.  I might just change our distance situation.  

So, here is to an even better 2016, with the one that I love.  I can only hope that we continue to grow and get closer as time goes on.